so bad but too good

Damn. Sometimes Sonic has to happen. And I relish every single bad-for-me bite and get my blood pumping a while later to make everything right with my conscience. Sonic had to happen today, and it happened large, with cheese and fried strips of jalapeno peppers. I did not eat the free tater tots or drink the cherry limeade. But I ate a thing the size of my head over the course of two hours. While I'm proud of my restraint in only consuming the main course, I'm downright astonished that I ate the *entire* main course. And this wasn't unconscious eating - I knew exactly what I was doing, and quite enjoyed making a pig of myself.

But then, there was guilt. One small human does not need that much food. Fast food, at that. Granted, I will happily indulge in cupcakes and small ice creams at whim, but what I ate today was a year of those. While wallowing in my guilt-and-fat-laden state (Thanksgiving stupor? Amateur to this. Amateur, I tell you), I remembered something from Sadie Nardini's Road Trip Guide To The Soul. To sum it up - when you go off track, do something to reaffirm where you want to be.

I made a cup of green tea, and once I wasn't quite as blurgh (it's a word in my universe), put on my iPod and had a healthy round of cardio. For dinner, I had a small salad and the yummiest bowl of soup I've ever concocted - broccoli, celery, bok choy, and onions in a miso/soy/ginger/garlic stock.

And a cupcake. Improvements don't mean I'm perfect. But it wasn't a very big cupcake.