managerial

I had another "mailbox moment" today. On Monday, I had a pouncing realization of a need to change habits and approaches (and approaches to habits?) based on a reaction to pulling our new business cards out of the mail. And today, The E-Myth Revisited arrived. (Heard about it through Kimberly Wilson's podcast.) I brought it inside, put it on the counter, ran errands, unwrapped it, put it in my purse (!), and finally settled down to read it after dinner.

Before today's "mailbox moment", however, I spent Monday and Tuesday sorting out some things pertaining to the first one. Instead of diving back into an overload of business-related busy work after Monday's lunch, I dove into figuring my shit out. And I figured out that I tend to do-mode myself into tolerating all sorts of things in the name of getting things done - basically should-ing myself into fairly profound distress. Even something as simple as a tense crick in my back can be ignored so a graphic can be aligned perfectly at the top of a promotional flier. Once I listed everything out, I realized what to change, and set an intention to do so. There's a lot to be said for veggie maki, goji berry green tea, an afternoon walk, and the occasional downward facing dog after a few hours of desk work. But even as I figured it out and set about doing things differently, I wondered if I'd be able to keep myself in check.

Okay, now back to today. After dinner, I snuggled into a chair and started reading and taking notes. The moment I hit the concept of The Entrepreneur, The Manager, and The Technician, a lot of things made sense. Yes, I can see those aspects of myself - easily. And, I'll just be, look at how the managerial aspect has been driving me absolutely bananas! My manager has all but driven my entrepreneur to rehab and has my technician wanting to slaughter her. Seriously! I'd even categorized things so that I was surprised I could glean such an amazing life-wide a-ha moment from a business-related book. (That was for the business, you see. Because nothing is at all connected, you know. Yes, that's the manager talking. No, I do not hear voices.)

But glean the a-ha I did, and I'm glad of it. I'm a firm believer in things coming at the right time, and this book is the next piece in the puzzle the business card reaction started helping me put together. If I'm going to, say, decorate my home, plan a week's worth of bento lunches (another entry), launch this business, or *live my yoga*, I first have to learn how to live functionally - in a way that doesn't result in so much internal conflict over the simplest processes. And based on what I've read in the first forty or so pages of this book, it could be that I need to learn how to tell my manager to shut the hell up and just *be* until her input would be for the good of all. (I'm going to teach her some restorative poses and pranayama once I have this posted.)

So do I think I'll be able to keep myself in check? Most of the time, perhaps. But when I do go off the managerial deep end again, at least I'll understand how to bring myself back to a better place faster, and in a much more pleasant fashion.