...or not

No mailbox moment today. I know, thank goodness, right? Instead, though, I had a yoga mat moment. Yesterday was rainy and sneezy and busy, and today was rainy and sneezy - I took care of a few minor things, but spent most of the day under a blanket, listening to rain on the roof and reading all about bento. (Obento?) A point came when I *had* to have my practice. I felt cooped up, confined, and tight on all levels; and in spite of being a bit sneezy and scratchy-throated, had to get to my mat.

I spent a good while in child's pose, balasana. While I was there, I remembered a moment a few years ago when I realized the very feeling of my mat under my feet, something that simple, could send a signal that it was time to slow down and come into a more settled place. While I don't think I've lost touch with that, I think something in the fact that I went into practice strongly seeking relief sent that point home again with especially strong acuity. With the feel of the mat, I had a sense of, "Okay, I know what to do, and I know this is going to help."

As I moved through a really simple series of asanas, I realized that I was allowing myself to avoid anything that might do something other than bring me to my senses and leave me relaxed. Stretching I wanted, but nothing too exerting. Twisting? No. Thought about it, but let it slide - twists will be there. Dolphin pose? Right on. And it felt amazing. But what was more amazing was the subtle fact that I allowed myself to keep it simple and soothing with no self-reminders. I don't know if it was due to having absorbed a lesson on a deeper level or just flat-out feeling like doody, but it was a definitely a good thing.

(Take THAT, inner micro-manager! HA!)

Overall, it was a good reminder to simply have a little more faith in myself. I know my intuition will tell me what's best, what to do, and what to avoid - but coming into a place where I can listen to it can be challenging for me. I tend to try too hard - or try NOT to try, if that makes any sense whatsoever. And I can't put into words what led me to be out of my own way yesterday, and in the "mailbox moments" earlier in the week - but it's cool to know that I was finally able to ditch the effort and let that knowing come through.