I've been mentally busy for the past couple of days, throwing myself into arranging my calendar for the next few months and blazing through ideas Trey and I have for a business we're launching. Physically, however, other than taking care of (ahem) domestic projects and my morning cardio, I've been s.e.d.e.n.t.a.r.y. - hardly even getting up to look out a window. On Monday, after writing I was off to go through a few rounds of Chandra Namaskar, I decided I felt too drained and opted for this yin yoga practice I found on the Yoga Journal site. (They have a few practices up, as well as a podcast, that I've been sampling.) It proved profoundly relaxing - in a matter of just a couple of hours I was nodding off, and I slept very soundly for almost twelve hours.
Yesterday, I went through the same routine - had morning cardio, tidied up the house a bit, worked some more on my calendar, and settled in at the computer for another marathon of business-related stuff. (I did take in a documentary via Netflix online - but that was still, you guessed it, at my computer.) I looked up around 5pm and realized that I was craving some time on my mat, but opted to keep going with what I was working on. Then I put if off some more, as Trey and I had to run out for some items to make dinner. I decided to "just do the yin yoga practice again" in spite of the fact that I actually wanted something that might have involved a few jump backs, twists, and a moderate challenge. I then decided to take a very different (and retrospectively educational) approach to the yin practice I was settling on than the night before.
First, since I was having trouble getting into the mindset and quieting myself down, I plugged into my iPod. Chose what is, for me, relatively calm music - the Sugarcubes, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Cat Stevens, Duran Duran, and Nouvelle Vague. (Go ahead and laugh.) And then I decided to counteract all the hunching over I'd done at the computer all day by remaining in backbends a for a good while. In fact, I switched out one of the postures called for, saddle, in favor of repeating a backbend. While making myself hold seal for a little longer than I thought I perhaps should, I swear I felt myself pop a little more alert. As I tried to finish the practice, I began feeling more and more hurried, half-heartedly went through trying to chill myself back out a little, and only dedicated about a minute to savasana at the end. I was *up*, even though I felt somewhat physically relaxed. I managed to slow myself down a little as the night progressed, but had a tremendous time getting to sleep and popped awake after only about four hours sleep.
And so this morning? I am a *grouch* who feels like she's had eighteen cups of coffee, who can very clearly see why. First, I didn't need that yin practice yesterday, I needed something more active, and although I realized that I chose to ignore the fact. Second, I probably should have left the iPod on the coffee table. Third, I didn't tune in enough to have any amount of respect for my practice - otherwise, I wouldn't have forced myself into holding poses for so long that I knew could have a somewhat detrimental effect (just 'cause it's a yin practice doesn't mean those backbends won't rev me up if I overdo). How ironic is it that in trying to tone out for the evening I put myself into overdrive?
But, as icky as I feel right now, it's a lesson in mindfulness. And the fact that my dog and my husband are both hiding from me makes it especially potent. I've decided that one of the bits of artwork I'll put into my developing yoga space will incorporate the words, "Tune in first.", and will be placed in very plain sight. Or I might scratch that in favor of the word "backbend" enhanced by a peacefully-hued prohibitory symbol. Heck, both might help. However, I wonder if it all doesn't boil down to the simple adage, "It's all in the approach." (Maybe I need all three of those....)
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