Yesterday, while reading this entry in Sadie Nardini's blog at Yoga Journal, I congratulated myself on having found better balance with regards to giving to myself as much as I give to others. This morning, I had a moment of, "Uh, back it up a bit, sister." What brought this on was the realization that I've been feeling a little run down since taking up my yoga practice again and starting this blog. Writing and yoga are two of my favorite things, why would they make me feel run down? Well, considering that I have I-have-to-take-care-of-everything complex, subtracting a couple of hours from days that were already pretty full was bound to bring about such a reaction, right? Not really. The time's there, so that was more a matter of time management.
Damned if I didn't feel a little bit guilty. I caught myself trying to talk myself out of an evening practice today, because there are other things that I should be devoting my attention to. I started wondering if posting to this blog was a bad thing - why should I spend an hour writing when there are so many other things to be done?
Eureka and duh, because I want to. And because if I don't give to myself, I can't give to anyone else from anything resembling a place of sincerity. I can perform the acts, but grudgingly. Making matters worse, when overly-taxed enough I get *snappy*. Giving should be from the heart, and taking care of and making others happy is something I thrive upon, but it's hard to do that when I'm depleted. So enough already - having had the "eurekaduh" moment, I don't feel guilty anymore, but I'll admit that putting this new approach into action might be a bit challenging. I'm going to give myself a restorative practice and a mani/pedi to help start this process.
And after that, following Sadie Nardini's lead, I think I'm going out to buy myself some flowers.
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