Sometimes, the best approach is no approach.

I realized something over the past few days - right now isn't a time for me to write about yoga. In addition to re-establishing my practice, I'm establishing a new life, a new business, a "new" home, a new marriage, a few new interests, a new social life...the stuff I'm honestly drawn to write about...*YEAH*. In looking back over a few entries - I was getting whiney. Why? Because I need my practice to be a grounding escape right now - it's my safe place, and putting my safe place out there is not the direction I need to take. I'm keeping the blog, and intend to pick it up again with a vengeance once I've found my place in all of these new, and exciting, things. I'll be posting intermittently along the way, but for now, I really want to focus my writing on:

GoKittenGo and Didgeridoo Boy - the blog about our life and adventures, and a blog I've *really* wanted to start all along, Bento Kitten - yes, a food blog. But cute food, and in cool containers.

did she make it?

At the beginning of the month, while on the couch recovering from the whopping panic attack, I decided I would start a practice of giving myself a few monthly challenges (inspired by Kimberly Wilson), picked from a list of things I've been meaning to get to. Rather than set a number of them and try to squish them all in, I let myself pick out ones that drew me as I went along. After my manager-realization moment, one of my goals was to shut over-active inner manager the hell up - this approach helped accomplish that quite nicely.

So - after putting my rambunctious inner manager in time out (that would be the first), I got down to:

Learning to play guitar - bought my first guitar last week, and am loving it, in spite of the sore fingers.

Packing bento - I've had my Hello Kitty bento box since August, but had yet to fill it. This is going to become an obsession, and I've even decided to start a bento blog. (I know, I work from home, which might make such a portable lunch seem pointless. Here's a peek into why they work well for those who do. Plus, it allows me a relaxing, creative start to the day.)

Giving the FlyLady system an honest go - I really only got down to this over the past two weeks, and was sick for one of those, but this 15-minutes-a-day thing really works. We even have organized kitchen drawers and a clean front yard now. (Hold on - - the earth's going to stop for a second....)

And - duh duh dunhhhhh - get a plan together for really launching this business in a way that's true to who Trey and I are. Done, done, and done. We're ready to go.

Panic attack and icky cold considered, I'm really pleased. That might seem like a short list, but each item encompassed a lot - from becoming a little more organized in my approach to allowing myself to move fun to the forefront. Over the next day or two, I'll post April's to-try list (meant to do that for this month, but forgot - how ironic).

so bad but too good

Damn. Sometimes Sonic has to happen. And I relish every single bad-for-me bite and get my blood pumping a while later to make everything right with my conscience. Sonic had to happen today, and it happened large, with cheese and fried strips of jalapeno peppers. I did not eat the free tater tots or drink the cherry limeade. But I ate a thing the size of my head over the course of two hours. While I'm proud of my restraint in only consuming the main course, I'm downright astonished that I ate the *entire* main course. And this wasn't unconscious eating - I knew exactly what I was doing, and quite enjoyed making a pig of myself.

But then, there was guilt. One small human does not need that much food. Fast food, at that. Granted, I will happily indulge in cupcakes and small ice creams at whim, but what I ate today was a year of those. While wallowing in my guilt-and-fat-laden state (Thanksgiving stupor? Amateur to this. Amateur, I tell you), I remembered something from Sadie Nardini's Road Trip Guide To The Soul. To sum it up - when you go off track, do something to reaffirm where you want to be.

I made a cup of green tea, and once I wasn't quite as blurgh (it's a word in my universe), put on my iPod and had a healthy round of cardio. For dinner, I had a small salad and the yummiest bowl of soup I've ever concocted - broccoli, celery, bok choy, and onions in a miso/soy/ginger/garlic stock.

And a cupcake. Improvements don't mean I'm perfect. But it wasn't a very big cupcake.

plannedted

Yes, "plannedted". That's me. I'd planned a few things, but around 4pm yesterday realized I was suddenly very, very cold. Allergies? No. There's a monster cold running rampant, and I managed to get tagged. Oh, well. Needless to say, there was no soothing practice yesterday afternoon, and I crashed out around 10pm in a daze of cold meds, my husband's video game providing the soundtrack to dreams of bipedal cats and living rooms decorated in what I swear looked like Handi Wipes. For all the things I'd planned, I've wound up planted. Hence, planted. Yes, it is silly isn't it?

I was prepared to mope and bemoan my sniffly, feverish, reclining state when I visited Kimberly Wilson's blog and read today's entry. Damned good advice, that. So in the same vein, I've decided to list out things that are actually making me feel good - even when I'm sick:

San-X characters - in particular Beer-Chan and Tarepanda
A slew of bento-related blogs, Bento Central is a good place to start
The little paper toys I assembled from templates found on Toy a Day
My new guitar
Seeing my husband talk on the pink princess phone I insist upon having in the living room
One of our cats trying to hop on the counter and going for a ride on a potholder
My dog, who is human, and also a seat thief
Mini lights
Onigiri and miso soup
Blue nail polish
Sandal weather, even though I'm cooped up at the moment
The new red, grommet-festooned jacket I can't wait to wear
Blooms on the Red Bud tree behind my house
Lunch plans with Mom for tomorrow
Deciding to not have writer's block


Now - let's see if I can keep up this mindset all day.

how does "om" sound with a stuffy nose?

The written version of that sound was what I wanted to use as a title for this post. Oh, well. It's probably best I not try to figure it out. The reason behind my stuffy nose, as you have probably guessed, is a whopping bout of seasonal allergies. I go through this every year, yet am always surprised at just how completely icky I feel. Typically, I'm laid out flu-style for a couple of days (there now), and then the worst moseys on and my symptoms cooperate with my Allergiemittel. (The best remedy ever, in my opinion.) However, this is the second allergy smack-down I've suffered this season, and it's done its damndest thus far to outdo the first. Something's got to give - popping pills only provides temporary relief, and a girl can only stand so much steam and hot tea.

Here are some resources I've found helpful over yesterday and today:

The Yoga for Allergies section in About-dot-com's yoga section.

Yoga Journal offers a this article on modifying one's practice, another on ayurvedic measures, and a sequence to help bring relief, as well as lots more.

And finally, Yogi Tea's Breathe Deep has helped clear my stuffy head on more than one occasion. Just pay attention to any herbs you might be allergic to!

Confession: I've never tried a neti pot. They scare me, and I realize I'm being about five years old by saying that, but it's true.

Now, all of that said, I'm off to finish today's stuff so I can have my (allergy-appropriate) practice and play with my new guitar.

my great debate

Actually, this kind of addresses more than one debate. First, I didn't know if I should address this topic in this blog. Then, I'll admit, I'm struggling a bit with entry material - - so it makes sense to address it. Flip side? It might seem petty. Other side of the flip side? Well, it's yoga-related. Kind of.

I'm talking about my yoga area. In the very first entry, I posted a picture of the space that is to become my little in-home yoga sanctuary. It looks the very same now - decorating it became a tight little wad of not-so-much fun, so I left it alone as I collected and discarded idea upon idea. Nothing felt right. And I know myself - if that space doesn't feel right, it'll do nothing but collect mail, flipflops, and purse while I move from spot to spot in the house with my mat. I finally had to sit down and grill myself about what would most inspire me to create a great yoga space and actually use it.

Something interesting came up when I started brainstorming, and I quote: "Bamboo flutes and dripping water give me hives." And then? "Soothing tones do not soothe me." Well, there's something to start on, no? I went on for a bit after that in a profanity-laden spew that sincerely helped me clarify what I do NOT want in a yoga space, and what I WILL have if I so choose, the high point of which expressed that I will damn well have a disco ball if I want it. (I will not have a disco ball. That was frustrated smartassery talking.) I also made it quite clear in my list that I am not Ghandi, as if anyone would ever dare hazard that comparison. So now that I know what I'm not going for, what am I going to do?

I have no freakin' idea beyond "not typical". But at least I've distilled the idea pool down to that!

wowzers

It really is Monday already. And it's spring, even, which always has a dual effect on me: I become supremely motivated, wanting to outrace everything that's waking up and blooming and have a million projects finished before everything reaches its peak; but on the flip side, I get knocked down with epic allergies sometimes that render me all but useless. Guess which side of things decided to surface last night? No worries - this is nothing that miso soup, green tea, and a dose of allergy medicine won't clear up in short order.

Trey and I managed to accomplish everything we wanted last week, but through all of that, I noticed that I was still uncomfortable with letting myself have down time - even though I'd given myself permission and ample space to do so. How is relaxation possible when it seems I'm simply not wired to relax? I want to be writing, creating, anything but sitting down and doing the opposite. It's becoming increasingly difficult to get myself to shut down at the end of the day.

So - is this a good thing or a bad thing? Perhaps it's simply time for me to act, to kick myself into high gear and accomplish all of these things on my burgeoning want-to-do list. I'm going keep up with very grounding, settling practices to keep myself in check, but my core is telling me to dive in full-force. While I don't want another round of anxiety/panic, I also know that *not* getting stuff done tends to stress me out more than overdoing. Just as it is on the mat, this is about finding my edge and going past it *just enough* to challenge/encourage, but not harm.

Off to sneeze, drink tea, and get down to unraveling some serious time management challenges.